A Mind of 'It's' Own
by JC
Summary: Again the sisters find themsleves in trouble. This time the demon is closer to home then they think.
1. Default Chapter

A Mind of its Own  
  
Darkness...Nothing but darkness....well, except for the occasional lighting, I looked out of the window; the streetlights have gone. Which tells me the obvious...'We had a power-cut.'  
  
I can feel a hard surface beneath me, trying hard to get my senses straight, I realised that I am lying face down, on the floor.  
  
It was eerily quiet, no sound was heard...Except for the rain that was pouring down and hitting the windows, and the thunder as it roar angrily though the midnight sky.  
  
I called out for my family, which only came out as a whisper...Either I'm too scared to shout or I just couldn't, just in case someone besides my family heard me.  
  
Receiving no answer, I began to push myself off the floor, feeling a cold, wet and slimy texture... 'Must be from the last demon that we just fought...' I thought.  
  
As I pushed myself slowly off the floor, and groggily stood up I had to re- think that last statement. 'Did we fight a demon...I can't remember...In fact I can't remember that much since I woke up.'  
  
I felt a light throbbing at the back of my head, on the left side, raising my hand to feel how big it was. Which I regretted instantly as it bloody well did hurt...but could only feel the bump, I was thankful that it wasn't bleeding.  
  
I once again called out to my family, waiting a few seconds, still receiving no answer, I decide to look for them upstairs, seeing as I grew up here most my life I knew where everything was at the back of my hand.  
  
Approaching the stairs, my foot hit something hard, I begun to fall, but I managed to keep myself balanced. My heart was pounding as I kneel down and reached out to feel the object that I bumped into. The object was soaked wet, I could feel some cuts on it...Which, is then that I realised that the object that I hit was a body and the wetness was their blood...I quickly shot up and inhale deeply as my heart kept on pounding faster and faster. I didn't know what to do, didn't know who it was; but I know one thing for sure I wasn't going to join him or her anytime soon. I hear some noises...wondering, where they are coming from...I was going to head for the kitchen to find out but....  
  
Heard the thunder and saw the flash of lighting and I bolted up the stairs as fast as I could...(tripping on a couple of them on the way) 'Sod logic for now, I'm practically shitting myself here.'  
  
Growing up here has its advantages I know my way round here blindfolded so finding my room was easy. That's when I heard it...Heard the voice calling out to me, echoing around the room.  
  
font color="red"Who am I?/font It called out.  
  
"What?" I said, mostly to myself. font color= "red""Who am I?"/font I'Great riddles...I hate riddles.'font color= "red"I Who am I?  
  
I can see you...But you can't see me...in the sense that you might think.  
  
Who am I?  
  
I can control how you view your life.  
  
Who am I?  
  
I hear your every cry, every scream, you're inner thoughts...But you can't hear me...Not unless I want you to. When you do hear me I can drive you to the brick of insanity.  
  
Who am I?  
  
I can create an illusion, make you think that something is there, where it's not and visa versa...Just like that knife your holding in your right hand.../font  
  
"Knife?" I said to myself. I looked down and sure enough realised that I was indeed holding a knife...How come I didn't realise this before?  
  
font color= "red"I Who am I?/font  
  
The distorted voice once again spoke out to me, sending chills up my spine...font color= "red"IAny guesses yet?/font It taunted.  
  
I looked around my room hoping with the little light that was being given from the moonlight when it had managed to steep out from the clouds.  
  
...Nothing...  
  
I could heart my heart beating rapidly, my breathing also became rapid, I felt the sweat rolling down my face I couldn't hold it in anymore. "WHO ARE YOU?" I screamed...  
  
...Silence...  
  
Once again I screamed "WHO ARE YOU?" And, once again I was met with silence...  
  
A few moments went by when the voice returned to taught me...  
  
font color ="red" II'm the /B responsible for killingB your/B family.../font  
  
Thunder and lighting once again was released illuminated the sky, making me jump...Suddenly the lights came back on...  
  
"My family is dead?" I asked in disbelief "Show yourself to me YOU BASTARD!" I shouted getting really pissed off.  
  
font color ="red"IScreaming won't help you.../font 'God how I hate that voice.'  
  
font color = "red"I Who am I?  
  
While you face the consequences, I can get away with murder...Literally./font  
  
I was my turn to keep quite.  
  
font color= "red"INo answer, Hmmm?  
  
I'm you...I'm your subconscious...I'm the side of you that needs to come out and play more often./font  
  
I turned to where the voice was becoming to get clearer over by the mirror where I saw my reflection...Walking up to it I saw my clothes soaked with blood...I ran my hands over my body noticing that the blood wasn't mine.  
  
I looked down at the knife that I was still holding it's blade heavenly coated with blood, where droplets of the crimson liquid began to form a little pool on my carpet. I looked back at my reflection, which I could swear, smiled back at me.  
  
I heard sirens coming in the far distance...If the blood wasn't mine then whose was it? I closed my eyes playing back the words that caused so much heartbreak and yet so much anger...My family dead, it can't be true...Can it? My head snapped up...The body...Whose was it?  
  
font color= "red"I Why don't you find out?font  
  
The voice once again spoke.  
  
I stared at my reflection not really believing what I just saw, my reflection just talked right back at me...Didn't it? I could also swear that it was smiling at me...  
  
I backed out of the room...I needed to get out of there...Needed to see my family, need to see that it was a lie, someone was playing a cruel trick on me.  
  
As I approached the stairs I saw the body that cause me to nearly fall, lying there motionless...When the room was dark it didn't register but now that the power is back...I could feel the bile rising in my throat. Going down the stairs I saw four more motionless bodies.  
  
Altogether five bodies...Five bloody bodies that belonged to my family lay there in a pool of red...I could just about make out one or two of them, by the clothes that they were wearing but there was too much blood...  
  
To my better judgement I turned over the body that I bumped into earlier on and, deeply regretted it. My hand went straight to my mouth and the warm, salty tears came pouring down at the sight...  
  
The face was meshed up and blood oozing out but I still know in my heart whom it was. I turned my head and let myself be sick. I could hear the sirens getting louder and louder, I knew that they were on their way here. I need to get out of here...Need to gather my thoughts...I couldn't have done this? That voice was lying...Or was it? Was I imagining it? I'm I going crazy?  
  
My thoughts irrupted when I heard knocking on the door...I tried backing away to the kitchen and go out the back...  
  
But, I wasn't quick enough without any warning the front door was smashed and police officers were pointing guns at me and told me to freeze. I did what I was told; too afraid and confuse to do anything else.  
  
Someone walked over towards me and put handcuffs on my wrists I looked into his eyes, they mirrored mine...The confusion, sadness and even the anger at the sight around us. The knife that for some reason I was still holding on to fell on the floor and was being bag to be used for evidence.  
  
As I was being led out to the police car, I took one more look at the five lifeless bodies, and once again threw up. Their blood...My family's blood was on my hands...As the car pulled out of the drive way I could've swore I heard laughing... 


	2. chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
The journey towards the police station was a quite one. I just looked out the window seeing nothing unusual, just passing by buildings and houses, trying to remember what had happened earlier on, tonight.  
  
I couldn't remember anything, the only memory I've got was when I woken up on the hard wooden floor. Closing my eyes and letting unshed tears run down my cheeks, telling myself I couldn't have killed them. 'And, with a knife...Which meant that you have to push it right in their bodies. I can never do that. It not in me to kill, is it?'  
  
Ugh...I shouldn't be thinking about this. But, I just can't help it. I know deep in my heart and soul that I'm not responsible for the killings.  
  
I'm not a religious person, haven't been to church for years, only as a child even then I was force to. Every Sunday at 7 o'clock to eat breakfast and get ready, missing all the children's program which are to this day classics and much better then what children see these days And for what? An hour of your life; sitting in a cold church, on an uncomfortable bench, listening to an old guy preach which bored you to tears.  
  
As a child you believe what your are told. 'Do the right thing and you go to heaven.' As you grow up and gone from junior school to senior school and the years go by. Your faith and beliefs start to drift specially when you are in religious education classes. As you get one teacher contradicting the other, or one that was really devoted that wouldn't except Christmas cards, that have 'x-mas' instead. Why am I bringing this up now? The truth is I don't know. I just find ironic that how many times I bitched about the whole religious thing, and maybe confused by it, when something like this happens you can't help but pray, pray to 'him' upstairs for forgiveness and pray for your victims saying that you're sorry. One can only hope that someone 'up there' had heard me, and when the night is over through some miracle. I be free, free from the police and free from 'myself.' 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
I closed my eyes as we reach the police station, I block all the sounds out in the background, I was like a walking zombie not acknowledging those around me that gave the dirtiest look.  
  
Walking in the station, they asked me to empty out my pockets, and they took my fingerprints. I cried that I'm innocent that it wasn't me who killed my family, I loved them to bits. Not one of them seemed convinced about my innocence. Who could blame them? They saw me with the knife in my hand and with no injuries I would have probably come with the same conclusion.  
  
I was put in the cell until I was needed for further questioning; the police officer practically pushed me inside.  
  
I jumped as the cell door slammed, the noise vibrated off the cell walls. I felt the tears down my cheeks as I saw the uncomfortable bed and the bucket that was a poor excuse for a toilet substitute. There really wasn't anything more I could do except to go towards my bed, curl up and cry for the lost of my family.  
  
**_'You do know that you are completely and utterly fucked, don't you?'_** The voice was back. **_'You do know that there's no way out? Know that you will burn for what 'you' had done.'  
_**  
"I didn't do anything. You did!" I said aloud. **_'But I'm you. So technically you did.'_**  
  
"No, I didn't! I think I would know if I killed my family."  
  
**_'Would you now? So you can remember everything that happen before you had woken up.'_** I said nothing. **_'No reply?'_**  
  
I still kept quiet, as I couldn't remember a thing. _'If only I could remember what happen.'_ I thought.  
  
**_'If only, but you won't. I won't let you'_** The voice mocked.  
  
"Why? Who are you?" I really do need help; I'm having a conversation with myself. '**_I told you before I'm you. I just need to get out, take over.'  
  
_**"Take over what? What do you want for me?"  
  
Laughter echoed inside my head, **_'I let you think have a think about that. But, tick tock you won't have long.'_**  
  
I bowed down my head onto my knees, once again closing my eyes hoping to go to sleep, hoping that I would remember something, anything about tonight and finally hoping in silencing the voice.  
  
When I woke up I suddenly notice that I'm not in my cell no more; instead of laying down on my bed I'm standing, standing in the dock in a court room.  
  
_'Perhaps I should really plead insanity.'_  
  
**_'It wouldn't work they wouldn't believe you.'_** "Don't you ever shut up?" I screamed at the voice, forgetting for a brief moment in where I am.  
  
The courtroom went silent everyone staring at me. What the hell is going on? I'm losing my mind. **_'It's almost time.'_**  
  
"Time for what?" I said though my teeth to avoid any more outbursts. **_'For your verdict of course...'_**  
  
_'My verdict?'_  
  
**_'Yes, your verdict.'_**  
  
"Chairman of the jury. Do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty of manslaughter?"  
  
I shook my head, snapping out of it and focus on what was being said by the judge. I struggled to adjust my head on the events so far. _'I woke up, find that I'm going crazy by hearing voices, find my family slaughtered, got arrested for their murders, police station, cell, going crazy again by having a conversation with myself, falling asleep in my bed, waking up in a court room. Now, I going to get the verdict do I even going to get my say?' _ I snapped out of it. Nothing added up, everything was going to fast, I was jumping form one scene to other. I turned over to the jury and prepared for my fate.  
  
"We the jury, find the defendant...guilty."  
  
I felt my knees buckle under me, I had to grab onto the rail to keep me from falling. '**_Ha ha ha ha hah.' _**That pissing voice came back. **_'I soon be free.'_**  
  
Everything was a blur, as I looked around the courtroom all I saw were smiles, faceless smiles. "...Death." A big cheer had erupted.  
  
_'What?'_  
  
**_'You've been sentenced to death.'_** The voice told me, I then passed out.  
  
**_'WAKEY, WAKEY!' _**The voice screamed inside my head. **_'You really don't want to miss this.'_**  
  
I jerked my head up, waking up to find once again the scene had changed and that I couldn't move a muscle as I was strapped in a chair...An electric chair in fact.  
  
Struggling against the straps that held me in place, I panic felt the burning sensation as my skin was tearing apart. **_'That's not going to help you, I would give up now. You're going to fry and I'm going to take your place.'_** The voice said wickedly.  
  
My eyes grew wide, as I saw the guard dipping a sponge into a bucket of water, realising that they must have shaved my hair off. Now I'm really am pissed.  
  
I again fought against my restraints hoping to break free; but I couldn't I was strap tight. I felt the wet sponge on my now baldhead, felt the metal cap on top of it. My heart beating rapidly against my chest there was no stopping this.  
  
**_'You're the weakest link...Goodbye!'_**  
  
Damn! That voice; I turned my head to see the executor pull the switch down, but realising that I couldn't so I had to make do with seeing him out of the corner of my eye.  
  
The switch was pulled down, I felt the electrical current go through my body, and I gave a loud scream as my body went into convulsions and then my hands and body went limp. My sprit floating out of my body but, something was different my sprit and soul my have left the body, but something maybe my mind was somehow still active and took over it. As I floated upwards towards the heavens I saw my left hand twitched, my head lifted up, my lips spread into an evil smirk. "Thank you, I'm finally free." The voice that was inside my head was now inside my body.  
  
I'm trying my hardest to fight the strong pull, wanting to see what was going to happen next. I saw the restrains that held me tight, now broke with ease like it was paper. If that wasn't a shock what happen next was...The executor that pulled the switch, took of his mask; It wasn't a he like I first thought, it was a she.  
  
And that she had my face...  
  
I woke up with a start, sweat dripping down my face, my night-ware was soaked right through, and fear had stopped me from screaming out load. I had to look around the room in order to make sure that I was safe, that I was in my own room and that I was alive.  
  
I didn't realise how much I was shaking until I put my feet down on the carpet, my legs were like jelly I wanted to sit on my bed until I completely compose myself, but I just had this sudden urge to check on my family.  
  
Going out of my room and peering into both of my sisters I let out a relived sigh on seeing them both tuck up in bed and safe. Knowing that they were both safe I went back into my own room and sat by the window. I was afraid to go back to sleep, afraid that I would have another bad dream.  
  
Looking out of the window I saw the sky was clear, filled with stars the moon full. There wasn't a sign that it had been raining not a drop.  
  
Why did I have that dream? Was it a warning, a warning about me? What I would turn out in the upcoming future? Would I have another one the next time, I sleep? That's to say if I'm able to? Is my family really at risk from me?  
  
Whatever it may mean, I know one thing for sure that I need to find the answers and soon. As I don't know how long I've got to stop this bad dream, this nightmare from becoming a reality. 


	4. chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
Watching the sunrise, taking a deep breath at the fresh air, hearing the birds' sing. It was a sign that it was going to be a beautiful day, I close my eyes and let myself drift off after capturing every single sound and sight that mother nature had offered me. It was tranquil, I also know it wouldn't last, it never does in our line of duty. As soon as I opened my eyes; the moment was gone, the birds stopped singing as they flew away trying to hunt for food for their offspring.  
  
Sighing I headed back inside the manor and towards the kitchen. I hope to work this out preferably on my own, my sisters don't need to worry about this not just yet  
  
Dumping my old coffee and pouring myself a new old I sat down at the table.  
  
"Morning" I snapped out of my thoughts as my sister greeted me. "Morning, you don't look so good."  
  
"Neither do you, couldn't sleep?"  
  
"Nope, you?"  
  
"Same."  
  
"Must be this heat wave." I said, probably too quickly as she gave me a suspicious look. She was about to say something when I beat her to it. "What have you got plan for today?"

"Nothing yet, why have you got something planned?"  
  
"No, nothing special just thought we could have one of our infamous sister day." As soon as I said those two words my sister's face was a picture, she threw me the goofiest smile known to man. "Cool, I just going to wake up-."  
  
"No, let her sleep, at least one of us should have a decent night sleep." I broke her off, before she rushed off to wake up my other sister, I probably had saved her life by doing so. It was never a good idea to wake her when she wasn't ready; she would throw a fit like a rabid dog and would try to bite you if you pulled her covers away from her.  
  
"You right, it will be suicide, perhaps we should get one of those poles with the hoop on the end like the vet's use to capture wild animals."  
  
"I was thinking of a muzzle."  
  
We both laughed as we pictured the look on our sister's face if we did get such a thing.

My laugher faded away, as I turned and saw the last of my sisters walking...well, more like dragging herself into the kitchen. She greeted us with a sleepy morning it looked like she didn't get as much sleep as I thought she did. She reached for her favourite mug and had emptied the last drop of the coffee into it.  
  
I looked back and forth at each of my sisters both their faces etched with worry and fear. I'm hoping that it's personal related and not supernatural. God it's way too early to be fighting demons and other evil beings...

_

* * *

_

_I've been tossing and turning all night. I let out a silent grunt and turned over to my clock, seeing the green numbers light up reading 3.00am. Letting out a silent cry praying that I would just drift off when my eyelids get heavy. But no such luck, I was wide-awake so I just lay there trying to sort my jumble thoughts out.  
  
I must have drifted off at some point as I saw daylight breaking through my curtains. I couldn't have been asleep for that long, as I still felt tired and once again couldn't go back to sleep.  
  
Knowing when I'm beat, I put on my dressing grown and went downstairs towards the kitchen, I'm glad it was the weekend.  
  
Entering the kitchen I nearly let out a screamed, as I saw my sister sitting in the table having what looks like her third cup of coffee. I told her I couldn't sleep; she told me likewise, I saw that there was more to it then your average insomnia. She said it was because of the heat wave, with it being summer of course. I looked into her eyes and knew it was more then that, I was going to question a bit more but she spoke first. I hate people when they do that.  
_

* * *

We got talking and joked on how to wake our lazy sister up without her causing too much bodily harm on us.  
  
We both stopped laughing as we saw our sister dragging her feet and rubbing her eyes, it looked like she didn't get that much sleep as we thought.  
  
I could feel myself getting worried and concern on why all three of us couldn't sleep, I know why I couldn't I just don't know how to tell my sisters. I wonder if it's demon related? Knowing our luck it probably is.

_

* * *

_

_I didn't get a wink of sleep; my head was buzzing too much that it gave me a headache. So I just lay in bed, switched on my bedside lamp and began to read the 'complete works of Shakespeare.' That should put me to sleep, it normally did when I was in school.  
  
I saw the daylight creeping in my room, as I once again tried to close my eyes. I don't know how long I've been laying in bed, so I might as well go downstairs.  
  
I dragged my feet across the wooden flooring, greeted my sisters who look like they also didn't sleep at all well last night, I know my reason for my restless sleep. I don't know whether or not I should tell them, not just yet. I need to figure it on my own; no sense in making them worry for nothing.  
  
I looked over at the counter, and spotted my saviour, my best friend, and my secert lover...Coffee. Pouring the last serving into my mug, I turned and leaned back into the counter deep in thought cupping my mug in both hands. My fear mounting, what am I going to do? I sure hope for once it's not demon related._

* * *

All three sisters jumped as they heard a knock at the door.  
  
My sister called out our names urgently, we hurried into the lounge and saw Darryl standing there with a grim face and clutching a brown folder. "I'm sorry to have to do this to you girls, but there's been a murder, well murders to be frank."  
  
"And, you think the case falls in our field rather then yours?"  
  
"Believe me, when you see the photos you will think the same. Be warned it's not a pretty sight."  
  
Grabbing the folder I pulled out the photos, my eyes grew wild and my hands began to shake. In the photos were bodies coated in their own blood. Darryl was right it wasn't a pretty sight, all of them have been slaughtered like if a savage beast got hold of them. It was too bloody to be human, I warned my sisters if they still want a look at them. They looked at each other and nodded, maybe they agreed so that I wouldn't have to deal with it alone.  
  
As I passed the photos on, one of them caught my eye, it contain all of the bodies together. There were five bodies altogether, five bloody bodies. Not only that, they also laid where I saw them... in my nightmare.  
  
The savage beast might not be a demon after all  
  
The savage beast responsible could have been me. I could have been the one that killed them, killed an entire family.  
  
_'What the hell is going on with me?'_


	5. chapter 5

**Thank you for the reviews....  
  
....All um three of you! :O) better then nothing!  
  
As for your questions, I could've made it easy for you to know which sister I was talking about or by telling you roughly which series this story is taking place. But where the fun in that? If you want a good thriller or horror story keep them guessing right?  
  
But if you really what to know which sister it is, then read on!**  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Closing my eyes and trying to shake the images that I've just seen, I didn't realise the weight had lifted off from the sofa nor did I register my other sister calling out to her. I only snapped out from my trance like state to catch a glimpse of her back rushing up the stairs. Poor Piper, she could never stand the sight of blood and the amount of blood that was shown in the photos it will be awhile before her stomach will have settle.  
  
I heard a sharp gasp and turned to my right, only to see my youngest sister shaking violently. I didn't have to be Einstein to guess that she had a premonition. She would have seen everything that happen to the family in her mind's eye, but the main question is...Did she see me, committing them?  
  
I reached out my hand to her only to have it pushed off. "Phoebe...What did you see?" I held my breath, as she looked her eyes onto mine. "I saw...I saw the murders, taking place, I felt it all, their pain, and their fear...Specially towards this little one." She looked at the photos again but only focussing on one particular body...A baby's body. I felt her shaking; the colour drained from her face, her eyes seemed to go in a daze. "Who will want to kill a baby? No human could be capable of such a thing, how can they?..." I knew the signs well, she gets like this everytime one of her visions gets this disturbing. Many a times that Piper and me had to rush into her room and comfort her when we hear her screams at night when one of her visions was relived into her nightmares.  
  
I know I shouldn't ask her, just yet anyway but I need to know, need to know if it was I, but was saved from asking when Darryl beat me to it. "Phoebe, did you see who had done it?"  
  
I held my breath...  
  
"No, I just saw the victims and how they felt..."  
  
I slowly exhaled as well as hiding my relief as she didn't see who was behind it, I need to tell them I know, but how can I if I can't explain it myself.  
  
We heard a noise upstairs; I silently cursed myself forgetting my other sister needs comforting. Looking over to Darryl he smiled and gave a little nod as he approached us and took Phoebe into his arms and comforting her, while I go and comfort Piper.  
  
Knocking on her door, I gently pushed it open calling out her name softly. "Piper, Piper are you okay?" I walked over to her bed and lay down besides her stroking on her long, brown, silky hair.  
  
"No, I'm not okay Prue and not because of the photos..." She broke off fighting back the tears, but losing the battle. I could see it in her eyes her fear. "Piper what's wrong, what is it?"  
  
"I'm scared Prue, really scared."  
  
"Piper tell me what's wrong sweetie, I can't help you if you don't tell me." Piper turn her head further away from me, probably scared of my reaction, as both of my little sisters know that my temper is short. I held her chin gently making her look at me, my love growing stronger for her wanting to protect her from whatever she is afraid of. "Please, Piper please what is wrong so that I can help you with it. What are you scared of?" I said wiping the tears, as they cascaded down her cheeks. "Take your time sweetie, I'm here for you...Always I promise" I sealed that promise by placing a kiss on top of her head.  
  
"I'm pregnant Prue...I'm pregnant and I don't know how Leo is going to take it. We haven't planned it and with all this business with the elders I don't think I can cope with it all. Seeing those photos and specially the body of that baby I... I can't sleep at night, I can barely eat I..." I watched as she broke down and burst into tears. I held onto her and she onto me; needing the protection that she couldn't get from the person she wanted the most.  
  
"Sssh, Piper, anything will be all right I promise we will figure something out we won't let anything happen to you or to the baby." I again gave her a kiss on the top of her head, hoping that it will be true because whatever is going on with me, needs to be figured and sorted out...Fast, as I don't want to hurt my family.

**Did you guess right? Did you even care?**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
  
Piper cried herself to sleep in my arms, I looked down at the sleeping form. Her body had now relaxed, how many sleepless nights did she have, worrying about this? I kissed her on the top of the head and gently placed her down.  
  
I quietly exited the room and made my way downstairs. As I reached the bottom I saw Darryl leaving the living room and walking towards me. "How's Piper?" He asked.  
  
"She's fine, just resting at the moment..." I looked over his shoulder seeing my baby sister with her legs pulled out to her chest, slightly rocking back and forth. "...How's Phoebe?"  
  
"Not good, she hasn't stopped crying, wishing that she could see the bastard who had done this." I cringed as he almost shouted, his frustration clearly showing at the situation, being powerless to really do anything about it; as it clearly showed that this case was in our line of expertise more then his.  
  
I smiled at him, giving my thanks for looking after Phoebe; I showed him the door promising that we will do whatever we can to bring justice. Swallowing as I have to make myself believe that I wasn't the murderer.  
  
Shutting the door I went back to Phoebe, not knowing if I should touch her or not, she needed a hug right now, but that hug could trigger a premonition and I'm not ready to deal with that yet. But then seeing as I touched her before I went to see Piper, she didn't get any premonitions off me; I decided to take that risk.  
  
Wrapping my arms around her, she let all the tears shed, soaking through my purple shirt. Her muscles relaxed as she let everything out, which is a very good sign my touch hadn't trigged a premonition. Pulling her head out of my shoulder and wiping the tears on her sleeve she spoke. "Prue...I need to tell you something...It's best if Piper is also present for what I'm about to say."  
  
"Piper is resting now, sweetie..."  
  
"Is she alright?"  
  
"For now, she's been having sleepless nights recently."  
  
"I know she scared the crap out of me when I went to the kitchen this morning, she normally sleeps in on her day off." I looked into her clear dark brown eyes and for the first time notice the dark circles underneath them. I suddenly remembered that Piper wasn't the only sister that seemed to have a restless night. "Phoebe what is it? What's wrong? You were awake before me which nearly gave me an heart attack." I smiled, it's a fact that Phoebe loved her sleep and would spend the entire day in bed if she could.  
  
"It's about Cole..."  
  
"What about him...He's dead isn't he? You killed him yourself..."  
  
"About that..." She said a matter-of-factly. I watched as she got up and started to pace about, I had a bad feeling at the pit of my stomach about this. "Phoebe..."  
  
"...We really should wait for Piper for this..."  
  
"PHOEBE!"  
  
"I lied Prue, I didn't vanquish Cole like I said I did...He's still out there."  
  
I can feel myself burning up, I closed my eyes trying to calm myself down, and then I smiled as I realised that Cole might be behind the murders and not me it was possible after all right? I mean the way the murders had been carried out went beyond 'human.'

**Do you think that Cole did it?**


	7. Chapter 7

Ah! I got another reader I'm happy

Chapter 7  
  
"Prue, Prue..." I shook my head to get out of the trance that I was in and wipe the smile of my face. "...Are you okay?" Phoebe asked a bit weary, not knowing how to approach me. Being truthful I don't know how to approach her, she should have told me... well, us. Damn it why did she always do this, drop a bombshell as soon as things spiral out of control for her.  
  
"This is a joke right, you having a laugh, right?" A big part of me wanted it to be a joke, but seeing as it isn't there's hope that held on to the fact that he was the killer and not I. "Is this the reason why you've been having sleepless nights?" I asked her, looking at her straight in the eyes. "Yes." Came the quiet reply.  
  
I slapped the couch hard as I got up, not missing the way Phoebe took a few steps back in fear of me hitting her. I might have done if the circumstances were different, instead I ran my hands through my hair, then began to bite on my thumbnail as I paced.  
  
"Prue...I'm..." She began, but I cut her off I didn't want to hear anything that she had to said right now especially that word. "Don't Phoebe, don't say it. I don't want to hear anything that you got to say right now." Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, needing to calm myself down. I open my eyes and once again looked at her straight in the eyes. "We need to talk about this, with calm voices and with Piper present. You look like you could do with some rest, especially with having that vision. Seeing as you have FINALLY..." I empathised the finally. "...Told me about Cole I think you will be able to sleep."  
  
"But Prue..."  
  
"Go to bed and get some sleep, all three of us will talk later." I said it in a tone that I knew she wouldn't risk saying anything more.  
  
As I saw her heading up the stairs her head bow down either in shame or trying to still get my sympathy or even both. I shook my head I got a clearer understanding on why both my sisters look so tired and restless.  
  
I sat back down the couch, bringing my legs towards my chest my thoughts running through my head, I didn't realise how tired I was... Until I drifted off into a deep sleep and entered deep into the heart of my nightmare.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
  
I felt myself, my entire being pulled into another world, another dimension even another 'plane'. I looked down at myself watching as I reappeared from head to toe, looking at my surroundings. I was astounded on how wired and trippy it looked, like those lava lamps.  
  
I've heard voices echoing around me, voices from both the past and present, MY voice. _"You had suffered a lot growing up, sacrificed a lot of things for your sisters happiness."_ A voice as clear as day spoke out, all the other voices suddenly stopped. I just stood there in disbelief I recognise that voice that had spoke out, I turned hoping that the owner of the voice was someone else. But, when I turned my hopes were dashed as I saw the owner was indeed...

...me.  
  
"Wha- ?"  
  
"_Is going on?" _My reflection finished off for me. I just stood there not attempting to say anything, couldn't bring myself to say anything.  
  
After the longest period of time I finally spoke. "Where am I? And, why..."  
  
_"You're talking to yourself?"_ I rolled my eyes, as 'she' threw a smile when she had said that. "_The where..."_ She began to walk around me. ".._.is in my domain, on my 'plane', where I make the rules not you...The why, you're talking to yourself is because I'm your astro-self_."  
  
If her face weren't so serious I would laugh. "But, I thought that..."  
  
_"You resolved issues that cause 'me' from breaking lose."_ The way she was finishing my sentences before I do was beginning to piss me off. "Would you stop that, it's beginning to piss me off." She let out a sinister laugh. "_You actually thought Phoebe's psycho babble made everything on what your felt all these years just to 'go away'. Since when did you start listening to her and take what she says in. I only stayed quite all this time till I found the prefect opportunity to once again break free. And hopefully stay free forever."_  
  
I was shock to say the least, I knew how much I kept my feeling to myself over the years, but I never realised that this would be the result of it. "Just tell me what I want to know, and tell me everything."  
  
"_You must mean the murders, It's easy for you isn't it? As soon as you heard that Cole was alive you automatically assumed that he was the murderer. Because he's a demon and still Phoebe's lover_."  
  
"I never said that."  
  
"_No, but you thought it_."  
  
"So, what you're trying to tell me."  
  
"_I'm telling you that 'you' are the murderer_."  
  
I could feel my whole body shake, my legs starting to buckle beneath me as I try to process the news. Surly I would remember doing something like that.  
  
"_No, you actually wouldn't remember it. Remember the first time I broke free from you?"_  
  
"How can I forget, you nearly sent me to prison."  
  
"_Yeah, and if you remember I did it when you were asleep. When you sleep I'm in control, as your mind is still active just like a sleepwalker's. You read the stories on how a sleepwalker can commit the worst crime and not be charged for it, hell, there's was one that drove from his place to another. Same principle with you I can do as I please and to you it will be just like a dream. Just like the murders that 'you' committed."_  
  
"I didn't."  
  
"_A bit of you did,... me_."  
  
"But, why did I..."  
  
"_See the faces of your family?"_ I threw my arms in the air as once again she had cut me off. I might as well not bother talking. "_You're saw their faces, because like I said you enter my domain where I make control what you see and don't see. Where I can manipulate you into things you wouldn't dream of doing. We both knew that Piper would be the first one out of us to be a mother. Just didn't know when_."  
  
"So why didn't Darryl arrest me?"  
  
"_Because there's no evidence against you I made sure of that. I mean if you get arrested, so would I and all this effort, will be for nothing. I would still be trapped inside your head."  
  
_"What do you want from me?"  
  
"_Haven't I made that obvious? I want freedom, I mean you're so boring, you pick the worst dates... Except for Bane I give you credit for that. Even Andy was too much of a goody-goody, I'm surprised it last as long as it did. You are jealous of your sisters Piper she got married and is expecting when it should have been you. Before you even say that you were married first, you were under a spell so that doesn't count. Phoebe always the wild one never once thinking of the consequences and not forgetting dating one of the most powerful and hottest demons around."_

"That's disgusting..." I winced as I tried to picture myself with Cole. _"Is it? I felt the way you were when you both had to go into that ghost town, the way you looked into Cole's eyes, your heart raced. Don't even try to deny it."  
_  
"Okay, that maybe true, but there's nothing you can do about it." I hoped that she couldn't. _"Well, actually there is. You see until you learn how to control me there will be two Prues so to speak and god forbid that the world is not ready for two Prues. You are going to stay inside the mind, while I'll be free in the body. And, until I come up with a permanent way of staying inside the body, this will have to do."_  
  
I didn't have time to get my head around what she had said, as the last thing I remember was the colour black.

**I know some of the events in this story are a bit out of order compare to the show, but I never did the order of things that they put the eppys in.** **Hope you still like**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**  
  
Letting out a gasp, astro-Prue looked around her surroundings and down at herself. 'I'm finally whole, even though it won't be for long. Might else well make the most of it. Until I find a permanent solution.'  
  
As 'astro-Prue' was about to get up she noticed the distortion of air, a sign of some demon shimmering, having a clear idea on who it was, she knew exactly what to do about it.  
  
Cole appeared; looking around and sighing with relief that no one was about; he was about to shimmer out again to find Phoebe, when he was hit at the back of his knees, making him fell to the floor.

Before he could even begin to try and get up, he was pushed back down to the floor and felt the extra weight on his back. Astro-Prue then turned him over onto his back and straddle on top of him, slowly undressing herself. "Prue?"  
  
"Like what you see?" She asked seductively.  
  
"Yes…I mean no, no, no." Cole quickly corrected himself. "I'm in love with Phoebe." Pulling her face in disgust she got off him and buttoned her blouse back up. "You only in to her because she's easy."  
  
"That's not true."  
  
"Isn't it? She may not have the guts to vanquish you, but don't doubt for one second that I won't. I just love having a good chase. You better go before I do it right here and now."  
  
Cole noticed the way she looked at him, it was a fact the two hadn't really got along with each other, but he sensed that something was different with her, he just couldn't place what it was. He had to found out what it was later as he saw that she means business; he shimmered without another word being said.   
  
Hearing footsteps running down the stairs she saw her little sisters running towards her. "Prue, are you alright? We heard you rising your voice at someone." Spoke Piper worry shown in her face.  
  
Prue looked hard at Phoebe making the girl uncomfortable and finding looking at the floor pleasant then being met with her stare. "No, I was thinking out loud to myself." Astro-Prue replied the dirty look still onto Phoebe. Piper looked at the both of them knowing that she must have missed out on something, _'another fight' _she thought. "Alright, what's going on between the two of you? What is the fight about this time?" She asked.   
  
Astro-Prue took a deep breath and turned her head towards Piper as she spoke. "I think you better sit on the couch. There's something that Phoebe needs to tell you. As well you have something to tell her."

The two younger Halliwells gave each other a look knowing that they couldn't run from their secrets anymore and to tell each other what they were hiding. Piper was the first one to speak. "Phoebe, the reason that I haven't been sleeping these past few nights…" She paused, she still haven't completely come to terms with being pregnant herself. Phoebe saw the fear in her sister's face and made her way towards the couch, holding onto her hand to offer her love and support. "What? What is it honey? No matter what it is, we will face it together." She then brushed a stray hair behind Piper's ear and gives a gentle squeeze to her hand to give her that reassurance that she needed.  
  
Piper looked into Phoebe's eyes seeing the love in them and thinking that she was right; no matter will happen between herself and Leo she has her sisters with her every step of the way and with their love she can handle anything. "I'm…I'm pregnant, Leo doesn't know about it yet and I don't know how to tell him, it wasn't planned and having the elders hating me already for marrying him. I don't know what will happen to us. And that scares me." Piper said, as tears fell freely down her cheeks, wiping them off with her sleeve.  
  
"Oh honey…" Phoebe pulled Piper into a hug. "It will work out you see, you got two sisters who love and care for you and be there with you every step of the way." She reassured her making what she had to revel to Piper that much harder.   
  
Pulling away from the hug Piper wiped away the last remains of her tears and with a small smile. "Thank-you. Now what do you have to tell me?"  
  
Phoebe gave off a nervous laugh and got off the cough. "You got to understand that I would never put you two in any risk whatsoever, you do know that don't you? And, that I love you both very, very much- right?"  
  
"Phoebe what is it? You're starting to scare me."  
  
Seeing Phoebe hesitating Astro-Prue snapped. "Oh for god's sake Phoebe just spit it out." Seeing Phoebe still hesitating Astro-Prue decided to say it herself. "Piper, She let Cole live, Cole is alive."  
  
Phoebe looked at Prue in shock on how 'Prue' just told Piper all in a calm manner, Prue in return still had the dirty look thrown in Phoebe's direction. Phoebe just looked back down at the floor, then at Piper, closing her eyes as she waited for her reaction….  
  
"YOU DID WHAT?" Piper shouted. "After everything you know about him, about the fact that he tried to kill us. Which thanks to you can still happen."  
  
"Piper…"  
  
"Don't even dare Piper me, Phoebe. We trusted and believed you when you said you vanquished him. You have a go at us about not trusting you, then when we do you blow it up in our faces." Piper then got up and looked at Pheobe straight in the eyes. "How can you expect us to trust you ever again?"  
  
"You can't, I know that. I also know that it will take time for you…For the both of you…" She said as she finally had the nerve to look at Astro-Prue in the eyes. "…To trust me again, I will prove to you that I can be trusted, but I love him…" She looked back at Piper. "… If it were Leo. You would've done the same thing as me! You couldn't vanquish him, could you?..." She was met with silence. "…Well, could you?" She demanded Piper to answer the question.  
  
Piper seeing the love in Phoebe's eyes as she spoke about the half-demon and half-human could feel herself calming down. She reached out to her and pulled her into a hug. "If you want me to be honest with you, you're right. I would probably do the same thing as you and that is to let him go." She said truthfully.   
  
Prue looked at them and threw her arms up in disgust. "I don't believe you, how can you stop being mad with her just like that? She let a demon go…"  
  
"Half-demon." Phoebe corrected.  
  
"Whatever." Prue snapped back.   
  
Piper sighed, forever in the middle she steps in to do what she does best, mediate. "Prue, she knows she had done wrong. But, what's done is done. Is he going to come back?" She asked. "I mean me being pregnant with a half-whitelighter baby is bound to make headlines 'up there.' What's the bet that 'down there' will know about it, too?" Phoebe detects the worry in her sister voice and reassured her that Cole would not be coming back and if he did. She knows that he will never harm the baby or put it in any risk. "I hope your right Pheebs."  
  
Astro-Prue was getting really wound up by the whole scene, her anger mounting so much, that she did what she had always wanted to do.

Ever since she and Phoebe had that fight on Piper's wedding day, she wanted to pay her back. Walking up to them and pulling Phoebe away from Piper's grasp she punched Phoebe hard in the stomach, she pulled her back up as Phoebe gasped for breath she drew her fist back and punched her in the face.  
  
Having connected her fist with Phoebe's skin, it had set off a powerful premonition making her scream out loud and going into a catatonic-like state.  
  
Astro-Prue not realising what a moment's touch to Phoebe's skin would set off, had a big smile on her face. Looking over to Piper who was shocked by the sudden turn of event. "I always wanted to do thaaAT…AAH." She let out a painful shriek as she clutched her head and fell into convolutions. A sign that the 'real' Prue was waking up and Astro-Prue was going back inside her mind.  
  
Piper at first didn't know what to do or who to go to first. But seeing that 'Prue' hit Phoebe she decide to go to her first knowing that she must have 'seen' something about Prue that had made her set off like that. "Phoebe…Phoebe…Come on sweetie snap out of it. We have to help Prue she's having some sort of fit…Come on Pheebs… please snap out of it." Failing to snap Phoebe out of it she went over to 'Prue' to try at least calms her down.

* * *

I could feel myself waking up and feeling my body shake knowing that my astro-self is going back to where it belongs. Likewise for me, who knows what trouble that _'she'_ had caused.  
  
I felt like, hands shaking me, a voice that I was longing to hear. "Prue, Prue are you alright? Come on… Let's get you on the couch."  
  
I let her lead me towards the couch and put my head into my hands, my head pounding like _'she's'_ using a sledgehammer to crack my skull in order to break free. I saw Piper going over to Phoebe trying to get her out of whatever state she's in. "What happened?" I asked. Piper turned to me and said. "You're joking right? You suddenly lashed out on Phoebe then you fell and started to convolute."  
  
"I hit Phoebe." I reply in shock, I looked to where my baby sister was, and sure enough saw how red her right eye was getting knowing that she will have a wicked shiner tomorrow.

Phoebe's eyes caught mine, she suddenly screamed at Piper shouting for her, to stay away from me and visa versa. "Why? What's wrong? What did you see?" Asked Piper.   
  
Phoebe, with tears flowing like Niagara fall took Piper by the hand and was pulled up, her eyes not leaving mine. "I can't even begin to tell you what I saw, except Cole isn't the one you should worry about hurting your baby…It's Prue."  
  
"WHAT?" Both Piper and I said together. Without another word Phoebe ran upstairs and we heard the gut retching sound of her being sick. I turned to Piper who just gave me the shrug of her shoulders. "I go…You stay here and rest." I detected a hint of fear in her voice whether or not it was fear of me on what Phoebe had said. She went to put her hand on my shoulder to reassure me, but pulled back and headed for the stairs.  
  
I watched as she ran up them. Did what Phoebe say true? I'm going to harm Piper's baby? Harm them? Did I lose the battle with my astro-self and will become the monster that had butchered an entire family, including a little baby, Like _'she'_ did? I can't let that happen…

I won't let that happen…  
  
I rather kill myself then becoming anything like that monster... I just hope I still have some control to do it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10  
**  
Stroking at her sister's hair to try and calm her down, Piper waited a second as Phoebe tried to compose herself and pluck the courage to tell her what she saw, all of it.

Now isn't the time to have any secrets.  
  
"Phoebe, are you ready to tell me what you saw?" Piper soothed.  
  
Still withdrawing back to herself Phoebe reply more to herself then to her sister as she put her legs to her chest, rocking back and forth. "...Blood too much blood, a lot of innocents lost. Prue not caring, all the love turned to hate..." She paused and for the first time looked at Piper and finished off. "...My decapitated head in her hand; as she stood there laughing her head off. Enjoying all the chaos and misery that she caused." Piper gasped putting her hand over her mouth and closed her eyes. Not wanting to believe her little sister but knowing when it came to Phoebe's visions she had no choice but to believe. "You don't believe me do you?" Phoebe asked her, needing some sort of reassurance from her. Piper didn't answer her, she believe her but couldn't bring herself to say anything.  
  
"It was awful Pipe. What she did to your baby and Cole not to mention us. It was like that family in the photos that...Darryl...brought...us." She began trailing off. Finally figuring out the identity of the killer. For a long moment of time both Piper and Phoebe looked at each other. "No, no she couldn't have she was here all night. We would have notice if she would try to hide something like that. The amount of bl...." Piper stopped she couldn't bring herself to say it. "If she did it, she would have been drenched in the... Um, stuff.... Oh god this is bad." She ran her hand over her hair.  
  
"No, this isn't bad. Having a boy band song stuck into your head. That's bad. Having blood spurt out of your veins and going everywhere. Knowing that it's your big sister, your protector that's behind it- is terrifying." Phoebe almost shouted out at Piper.  
  
"You honestly think that she killed that family?"  
  
Piper sat next to her, hugging her and began to rock back and forth, trying her best as she could to comfort her.  
  
"Yes I honestly do. Why else would I get that vision of her, the moment she hit me?" Phoebe questioned. "I don't know Pheebs but we're going to find out. She was thrown into some sort of fit a couple of seconds after she hit you. I mean she never laid a finger on you. Including the times that you've might have deserved it." Piper said, approaching slowly towards Phoebe and gently wrapped her arms around her, rocking her softly back and forth. "Oh gee thanks...The Cole thing must have been the push she finally needed."  
  
"That's not what I meant. No matter what you've done she would get mad, bail you out, then try to reason with you on to coming to her for help the next time you land in trouble. Not once had she even attempted to raise a hand at you. Something is just not right." Hearing what she wanted to hear; that what she saw was due to some sort of evil and not her sister brought a smile back onto her face. "I guess you're right."  
  
Placing a kiss on top of her head and hugging her tight. "You should know by now, that I'm always right." She then got up, pulling with up with her and looked at her soon-to-be black eye and sighed. "I get some ice for that."  
  
"You're not going back down there, are you?" Phoebe panicked  
  
"Well, unless you got an ice sculpture thawing in your bedroom or a freezer then yes downstairs is where I'm going."  
  
"Have you forgotten something, like oh I don't know. Prue the murderer"  
  
"You can come down with me, I'm sure it's safe whatever got into her had gone. Besides you weren't the only one who got effected. Like I said she was having a fit herself, when she finally snapped out of it, she looked lost and confused. "

* * *

I waited patiently for the return of my sisters. My feelings of hurt when Piper withdrew her hand away from me as if touching me right now will burn her. I'm at a lost on what I should do. Right now not going to sleep is the only option that I've got. I only hope that if I become weaker in physical form I hope my 'astro' form will become weak also.  
  
I broke away from my thoughts as I heard the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. I made my way towards them. As soon as they saw me they stopped. My eyes of hope and understanding meeting their eyes of lost, confusion, mistrust, and anger and even hate. I can actually see the hate that my youngest sibling has for me right now. I can also see the black eye forming.

"I'm just going to get some ice for Phoebe." Piper said. I didn't miss the tone in her voice. It was like she was asking me for my permission to get the ice for Phoebe. Have I spooked them that much, that they have to tread carefully around me? I just gave a little nod and watched as both she and Pheobe continued their way down the stairs and heading towards the kitchen. But, not before Phoebe pulled away from Piper and faced me. Her eyes still held so much anger and hate in them. That I'd unconsciously took a step back. "You do anything and I mean anything to harm Piper and the baby. I will kill you. Whether evil is behind this or not. I will plunge a knife deep into that beating heart of yours and twist it." I never felt so hurt like I did just then, I looked over at Piper she just turned her head away from me and carried on her way into the kitchen. I looked back at Phoebe seeing a single tear appearing and making it's slow journey down her cheek, but saw no more.  
  
It's that what it will come to? My own flesh and blood willing to kill me? For the first in my life I felt weak. I saw Phoebe's back as she headed into the kitchen, leaving me on my own and suddenly feeling very, very alone.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11  
  
"You shouldn't have said that." Piper said; as soon as Phoebe entered the kitchen. "Maybe, maybe not. But at least she knows that we're watching her."  
  
Piper went over to the fridge, took out an ice pack and gave it to Phoebe. "Thanks... What are we going to do Pipe? We cannot let my premonition come true."  
  
Piper pulled up a chair opposite her and sat down. "I don't know Pheebs. We call Leo and ask him if he or even 'they'got any idea on what's going on. Other then that, I just don't know."

* * *

I peeked into the kitchen. Debating my options. Should I go in there and tell them? Or should I find the answers and handle it on my own?  
  
As I was about to enter the kitchen, a sharp pain penetrated my skull. I should have known it wouldn't be easy. _'She'_ knew my thoughts, my every move before I made them. _'She'_ was after all, a part of me. The part that I thought I had buried a long time ago, that I created when I witness my mother's death.  
  
My inner-self, another me that was forced to feel all of my deeply buried emotions, from my sisters, from the world. Never for them to be resurfaced. Who knew that this was the result of it?  
  
I had to be strong for my sisters, as our bastard father left us...Left them. I had to be strong for them, to protect them, to be responsible for them. But, most importantly to give them love as both a sister and a 'parent'.  
  
Was that the key to this mess? To except my mother's death to grieve for what was lost over twenty years ago? To let out all my emotions, that had been buried for so long? After all, that was what the angel of death told me to do. To grieve for what was lost. A part of me wanted to, wanted so much to run in there and throw myself into their arms, to cry and tell them everything that I kept from them. Every secret that I had hidden from them, that made me the person that I am today. They had a right to know, don't they?  
  
To tell them I'm not the person that they think I am. I'm not the strong, confident person that they thought.  
  
It had all been a front. Always has been. A mask to hide the real truth from them. The truth is, is that I really am a fraud.  
  
They don't know the real me, hell I doubt if I know the real 'me' anymore.  
  
Breaking from my thoughts as I heard Piper calling out for Leo, I tried to eavesdrop but the pain in my skull was getting stronger and stronger by the second, it was pounding like a migraine. I put my hands at the sides of my head.

_'She' _just wouldn't let up, my alternated self wants to break out and cause havoc, to lash out all those pent up emotions from over years to those that will cross _'her'_ path, when she breaks free. I cannot allow that to happen.

I **will not** allowed that to happen.  
  
I turn towards the stairs, heading towards my bedroom, I need to lie down. Need to rest, knowing sleep would release the devil in me. Who knows what '_she'_ would be capable of, if that happened.  
  
I know that I've got two options... Well, one is actually more of a long-term effect then the other. I figured if I say it out loud to myself without thinking it, then '_she'_ won't know about it.

One option is to take caffeine pills or other formats of stimulates to keep myself awake. It will gradually make me weak but I am hoping that I will find the answer to destroy this part of me forever, and be free from it forever for _her_ to never return, before I'm lost completely. Even if the result means that I would lose the ability to astro-project, so be it. If I can't control it then was the point in having it? The other option is...  
  
"To kill myself..."

TBC?


End file.
